So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have feelings that need drinking.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
