i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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