Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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