why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
