whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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