He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
