Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
