hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the condom got lost in my hair
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Bring me that man meat
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
