Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize