I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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