dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
