i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
