Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize