two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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