I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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