Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
