Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
