Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
