My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
