Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
