Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
