You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Drunk is not a location!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
