Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Congratulations! We have a period
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