dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
