dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
