Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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