question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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