I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
