Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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