True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize