i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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