I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
