what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
