I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize