Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
