69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
