I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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