Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My vagina is officially offended.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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