i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
