I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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