My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
