"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
