were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
