I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
