You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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