thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish you could order shots online.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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