Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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