I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
