Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize