That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
