my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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