i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my shit smells like andre
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
