he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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