Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
