he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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