I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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