good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
They have beer where we have blood.
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