would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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