Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize