Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
